A little Ray of Sunshine………

Recovery is long isn’t it. Whether it’s recovering from surgery, mental health, addiction….it can feel like a long slog to feeling like your bright, shiny, self again……but we will get there. And it will all be worth it. 

I am all for living in the moment, making the most of the now.  But sometimes you just need a little exercise to lift your spirits and take your mind off of  ‘a difficult/ mundane time or long recovery,’ and it’s great to have a few things to look forward to in the pipe line.

So today I got thinking about summer. Ok, I know it’s only April, but we’ve all had a little taste of the sunshine, and it’s gone to our heads. ( I hope I wasn’t the only one who was stressing out that I have zero summer clothes, frantically looking online for a new wardrobe, for all 3 days of sun we had.)  But it did get me thinking about this summer, and how I would like to spend it.

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I’ll be spending the majority of my summer in Brighton. I love Brighton, it’s definitely my happy place.  I’m not sure exactly why I love Brighton, but I do remember after a stressful day at work, when I stop, breathe and look around me. I felt an overwhelming feeling of gratitude and content ness to be in such a happy, colourful and vibrant city. So choosing to live here was an easy decision.

I told myself I would do so many things last summer in Brighton and due to life , work and knee problems, I didn’t get round to even half.  So this summer I intend to make more time.  So what better way to lift the spirits, than to write your own summer bucket list.   It’s not about jumping off bridges ( unless that’s your thing ). But about looking for reasons to celebrate, and enjoy the places we live, doing things we love, no matter how small.

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Here’s my list for anyone visiting Brighton, or like me surgery recovery has been such a slog, you just need a little something to look forward to.


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  • Be tourists for the day down Brighton Pier.
  • Go to more open mic nights (Love the Brunswicke pub in Hove for this .)
  • Eat Fatto Mano Pizza ( the best ) on the lawns on a warm summer evening.
  • Watch more coastal sunsets.
  • Check out as many new Coffee shops ( Hixon Green, Flour Pot Bakery & Red rooster faves )
  • Have a picnic in St Anne’s Gardens.
  • Dance the day away at Gay Pride
  • Cycle from Brighton to Hove beach ( little hopeful, but if knee is willing)
  • Join a yoga class above Six in Hove (once knee recovered)
  • Try out more Vegan restaurants.
  • Host a big BBQ
  • Summer evening date night at Theatre Royal
  • Summer day drinking on Brighton Beach.
  • Go to Brighton Food festival.
  • Watch more live gigs/ comedy (Komedia Comedy Club is the most popular )
  • Stroll along the colourful north laines and buy some vintage bits.
  • Read books on Hove Lawns and dog watch ( So many cute puppies down there.)

Feeling better already. 

Ready to soak up the season.  Now roll on the sunshine………….

x Happy Saturday x

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Good vibrations….

I am sure if the majority of us, if asked, how we would like to imagine our ideal home atmosphere, it would include some of the words, happy, calm, peaceful.  We wouldn’t tend to use the words chaotic, stressful and intense.  Although Its not always easy being positive and happy at home, mainly due to life duties, relationships and work life balance, but we can all try and create a better atmosphere at home when possible.

  I am always looking for things that help improve my mood, wellbeing and give me a balanced happy lifestyle.  So for the past several months, I have become increasingly more intrigued by the world of Holistic Healing, and positive energies, especially around creating more of a positive energy at home, seeing as that is where I am spending most of my time currently post-surgery.


Crystals and Gem stones.

I have started to enjoy learning more about gemstones and crystals. They are everywhere and popping up more and more. What are the meanings behind these beautiful stones? And which ones should I include in my own home, or on my body?  So, they say the best way to learn,  if it’s for you, is to get your hands on the gemstones. Luckily living in arty Brghton I am spoilt for choices, but after hearing great things about a supplier near me, ‘’ The Gemstoners.‘’ I gave them a visit.

Not only are these products healers and cleansers, but they also all look amazing too. And the staff were so helpful and informative, being someone still learning and intrigued.

I was advised by a lady, to choose the stone you are drawn to, I was instantly drawn to;

Amethyst-  Balance, Protection and Healing. This stone has a calming influence, soothes stress and encourages balanced thinking.

Labradorite A useful companion through change, banishes fear, insecurities and strengthens faith in self.

Gemstones are said to have health, wellbeing and mood benefits, and enrich the life of those who wear them or keep them in their home.  I chosen to keep one on me as a necklace and one at home.  I am so IN LOVE with these beautiful gemstones, their healing properties and I am ready to introduce them into my life.

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Positive Affirmations

Surrounding yourself with a few healthy reminders can only be a positive. From cards, art work, diary notes, to a screensaver on your work computer. A happy, healthy, mantra to go by, or a reminder to focus on when you need it.
I asked a local artist to paint this quote for me. Seeing as I am at home a lot this painting is now above my dressing table as a gentle reminder. And makes me feel more positive.

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Aromatherapy and Essential Oils.

Negative energy and emotions are all around us, so creating the opposite at home is vital to our wellbeing, You can use essential oils to create this positive energy within your home.  You know that feeling when you walk into a spa, the atmosphere, smell and energy.  I get that same feeling in the evening when I create a relaxed scene, light music, a bubble bath and my favourite essential oils on the burner.  I want to create that at home more. So I tend to use;

Evening – Lavender or Bergamot- for a calming peaceful effect, which always helps me sleep better.

Daytime – I use peppermint or Orange – Helps me feel sharp and focused on my daily tasks. Lemon and oranges oils can be great for mood improvers at any point during the day.

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Beyond anything else, collecting crystals and gemstones, learning to use different essential oils, should be fun, enriching, and interesting. Get out and experience whatever you can, and see for yourself.

And I’m all for feeling calm. balanced and surrounding myself with positive energies …… listen to your intuition, and play around with things! Have fun in finding what suits you!

Everything is energy and energy is everything.

Happy Healing XxX

 

The good, The bad & The ugly….

Depression is so rude isn’t it. The way it just shows up uninvited, waves over you, and slaps you around the face.  As if dealing with a major surgery isn’t big enough alone, but delivering it with a heap of depression and anxiety to, well thanks very much.

Do you ever wake up and just know it’s going to be a bad mental health day ?!  I felt really angry with my brain recently.  So I had a little word. It went like this. ” Not only do I give you a healthy break from the TV, I eat well, I read, I stay positive, I even meditate, and this is how you re-pay me?  With a gloomy feeling from my old enemy depression ?!  Ok, I’ve not lost it.  But after this little chat, I then realised, there had been a few patterns in my daily routine, that had lead me to this negative place.   Now more than ever, I realise just how much our daily routines effect our minds.  I’ve really had to make a conscious effort during this recovery, to take care of my mind, not just my body. And I can definitely feel the difference on the days I make those efforts, and those days that I don’t.

With any kind of recovery there are going to be some good, some bad, and some pretty ugly days. Two months post opp, I think I have now covered an array of these.  I previously wrote a post about preparing the mind, body and soul for surgery. Preparing your, Mind . Body . Soul.  But now sitting at 6 weeks post op, it’s a very different challenge sustaining a positive mind.  So I wanted to share a few of the things that I have been doing, to keep my mind, well… Well.  

For those going through post surgery, have a surgery coming up, are in a form of recovery, or for those who just suffer with glum days.  None of our situations may be exactly the same, but we are all healing, and we are all on our own paths, to self improvement. 

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First up;


Morning routine

This is a huge one for me. Start the day, how you want the rest of the day to follow.

Morning one – Wake up, scrolls on phone, scrolls on phone, eat cereal, scrolls on phone, watch TV, get dressed. 

11 am  feelings = Fed up. Tired.  Low mood.

Morning two – Wake up, stretch, open curtains, wash, get dressed, healthy breakfast, TV off, scroll on phone (15 minutes)….onto something productive.

11 am feelings =  Positive. Happy. Motivated.


Change things up.

 If like me your mobility is restricted at the moment, it sounds silly but change where you sit.  Six weeks of laying with your leg up in the same place can become very mundane. I now make sure I sit in different places, and change up my views. It’s amazing what this can do for your mind. I used to get told, take a different route to work from time to time, go by train instead of driving, and it works. Changing the small things up, can help your state of mind for the rest of the day more than you realise.  


Accept where you are.

From talking to others going through a similar recovery, the one word I have noticed we all throw around (including myself) is, ‘frustration’.  You didn’t want this injury, this physical hindrance,  you don’t want to be in that place. You want to be further along.  You should be further along.  See I was born with two legs out of alignment both are weak, sore and have dislocated too many times to remember. I am now healing from the surgery and have been guilty of  throwing around the words, ”Why can’t I have normal legs.”  I am grateful and lucky enough to not have had a life threatening surgery,  but sometimes frustration can get the better of us.  Accept where you are.  You can’t control everything about the healing process, but you can control how you feel, and where you go from here.


Make some small plans.

Being cooped up in recovery is tough on the mind, and there really is such a thing as Netflix and too much chill ! I’ve found making small plans for the day, keeps my mind more productive while I’m off work.  I planned to do a dinner party ( sounds like nothing, but with a stiff leg, on crutches, it’s an ordeal.) I planned to sort out my clothes drawers and de-clutter, sounds boring, but wow it feels good after doesn’t it. And of course just arrange to see people.  The little things make all the difference as we all know. Complete a 30 day self care challenge during recovery. Lets Start as we mean to go on…..


Get dressed.

Ok, you may not have anywhere to be, you don’t have a visitor today, who’s to impress….So what ?! Get out those damn, comfy pjs, and put on some normal people clothes.  I’v been pretty good at this, and on the couple of days I haven’t got dressed, I definitely felt a difference in my mood. It will give you a little more motivation to start your day.


Sleeping plan

First week or so after surgery, medication can make you feel drowsy and you may take naps, go ahead you have been through an ordeal let your body rest. But after this, if it’s just laziness, stop. Sleeping in the day time and staying up late at night, will only make you feel like utter rubbish. So keep your sleeping pattern strict, and the same as it was before. I am always tired, but I keep myself up till 9 pm ( wooo go me ) . The nights that I did stay up late, and slept in the day, were my lowest and most anxious days. So take note of how you feel and learn from the mistakes. 


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These are just a few of the things that I have noticed help my mind during recovery so far, the most.  You may have others that have helped you.  Our roads to recovery can seem long, bumpy, and no one person’s is the same.

The truth is we are all moving forward, day by day, it’s just hard to see at times. 

It takes time, patience and everything you’ve got.   

Happy Healing xXx

(Now……get out those pjs x ) 

 

 

Can having a hobby, make us happier humans ?

I remember the day I came to the realisation I didn’t have any actual hobbies. It was during a disagreement with an ex around the subject of time together on a Saturday.  Every Saturday he would spend it playing football, watching football, learning to play his guitar, or playing badminton. I brought up the subject of how maybe some Saturdays he could spend them not doing these things. This is when I was told  “I wouldn’t understand because I didn’t have any Hobbies.”

Taken aback I replied of course with…” Errrr,.. yes I do, I have plenty.” (  Shopping for an outfit and going out drinking was a hobby right ?! )  Which furiously took me to my phone to tell the girls, and seek reassurance from them by asking what their hobbies were.

A hobby Is a pretty broad term, people define it differently, but I suppose to me a hobby should be an activity that we enjoy, that you do for leisure, in your spare time.  And something you can learn and grow from.  I suppose then I didn’t have any real hobbies. I mean finding the perfect outfit for the weekend, then drinking till 2 am took some serious skill, but I wasn’t learning or growing from it.

So fast forward three years and I would definitely say I have more of a range of hobbies. Writing and starting this blog a few months ago being one. But maybe I still don’t have many, considering all of the amazing things we now have around us ready to learn and try out, ( rather than just absorbing into Netflix). Don’t get me wrong, watching a TV series on Netflix is a hobby in it’s own right, and one of my favourite past times, but it’s not one we would put on a CV.

I remember always thinking my ex was a pretty happy go lucky person, he enjoyed his Saturdays learning new chords on the guitar, and passionately shouting at the football.  His hobbies seemed to make him happy. Which led me on to think maybe having a hobby can make you a happier person, and here are some reasons why.

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1) They de- stress you

Us humans work/study hard, some of us putting in a hefty 52 hours a week. To have something we do regularly, to take our mind off of the things we ‘have to do,’  is the ideal release from working life.   People don’t tend to choose hobbies that make them angry. Painting, writing, swimming, are all activities that relax the mind. Hobbies are like mediation they keep you present and both things lead to a more content mind.


2) They give you a sense of achievement

Learning a new language, playing a new song on a musical instrument, or completing your first painting, must give you a real glow inside. They give you a sense of reward, help you grow, and therefore boost your confidence which can only lead to feeling happier.


3) You meet new people or connect with like minded friends

My friend told me that his biggest reason for enjoying golf ,is it facilitates him getting together with other people who also share a love for the sport. The social aspect of playing a sport and having fun with others, always leaves you with a feel good feeling after.


4) You get to show case your talents

If your hobby includes something you excel at, i.e drawing, singing, cooking, playing a sport, it’s a chance to show case your talents.  Either through social media, during a game, performing for loved ones or just impressing yourself.   It feels good to practice and excel at something.


5) It can help your mental health

Dopamine and Oxytocin are just two hormones that are released  when we are doing an activity we like, which are associated with reward and satisfaction.  Having a creative outlet can give you some joy and the more time spent away from thinking about work, or doing work at home the better ( common sense. )  When your alarm goes off to get up for work the majority of us want to press snooze, if it went off to start a hobby we love, I’m sure we would not feel the same.  Immersing yourself in a hobby is a great path back to happiness.


So there you have it, I think having a hobby or two could make us all feel that little bit less stressed and happier.  So try and find something you enjoy, dig out an old hobby or start a new one. I’m off to try my hand at some painting with water colours ( and pretend I know what I’m doing )  ……….wish me luck.

Happy Hobby-ing  XOXO

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Lazy Days, or Stuck in a rut ?

You may notice I tend to write a lot of positive posts, how to look after your mind, how to feel better, beating negativity etc etc.  Now, I don’t do this because I’m sitting here with ribbons in my hair, singing along to musicals.  But I write them because that’s what works for me. It keeps me motivated, allows me to check in with myself, and I like to think others like a positive read also.

But on the flipside, it’s ok to admit when we have shitty days.  We all have those days where every idea we had to be productive goes out the window.  The days where we say we will DEFINITELY be going to the gym, but instead we then spend the whole evening scrolling through ‘Andy from school’s photos,’ on social media. Because god forbid we don’t look through all those, even though we haven’t seen Andy for 8 years.  Or those days where you spend hours looking up healthy recipes and meal plans, to then just order a Dominoe’s. And we have all experienced times where we plan a productive ‘day off’, to then just watch TV all day and feel cross eyed by the end of it.

But then why not ?! We need those days! We are hardworking multi functioning humans, with a lot going on.  Our brains need that down time.  But it is when those days start to become our routine, bad habits creep in, and our planned ‘lazy days off’, leave us feeling unmotivated, with zero energy, or any feel good feelings at the end of them.   As I am currently off work on recovery from surgery, those days are easy to slip into, so after a 4 day stay over in ‘Rutsville’ I’m ready to find some balance again.

Knee surgery entails not a lot of going out, but also these cold months are inevitably the months many of us spend time indoors.  Our days off from work, we plan lazy days in, but this doesn’t mean those days can only be filled with TV and endless scrolling through social media every time your at home, leaving our brains feeling like mush by the end of them.  So I have devised a list of things to do for those during recovery, and for those feeling in a rut, who may want to add a little variation to their lazy days off.  Here we go.


Podcasts-

I’m nowhere near as dedicated to listening to podcasts as I would like to be, but once you get into one, it’s a really nice change from just staring at a TV.  They are entertaining and broaden your mind and a great night time listen, for those who don’t like reading. I am always looking for new podcasts to grab my attention, I’d recommend these old favourites;

Serial – An old one now, but still great, listen to a crime tale unwind, it had me hooked.

Ted Talks DailyInteresting, motivating and will broaden your mind. Pick any subject your interested in, and prepare to feel empowered.

Crime Town- I am currently listening to this as I write, working my way through this gripping documentary, for the ears.


Read –

I love to read, but I became better at ordering new books and then looking at them lovingly as they sit on my bookshelf. But I’m breaking that bad habit and my latest reads are;

The Kind Worth Killing- Peter Swanson-  I read this book in two days, crime thrillers as you might tell are my thing, if you’re looking for a psychological page turner, full of suspense and twists, this is the one. This is everything I hoped Girl on Train would be.

Happy- Fearne Cotton An honest, insightful, intelligent read, which is a reminder that we never can tell who is suffering.  It’s a positive book which reminds us all to slow down and look after ourselves.

Elanor Oliphant, is Completely Fine – Gail Honeyman– A chick flick, with humour and purpose.  It’s about a 30 something girl, and her humdrum existence.  So far I am enjoying this book, it’s a great escapism from reality, and I am loving her quirky character already.


Box Sets

We all love a binge watch. I have given myself a set amount of ‘healthy binge time’ a day during recovery, as I love it, but my brain aches after a while and not in a good way.  If you’re needing a new tv binge, the following I found impossible to turn off;

  • The Jinx – The life of Robert Durst – A crime documentary with a twist, if you haven’t seen it. You need to.
  • Big Little Lies – Girl power at its best.
  • Line of duty – An extremely intense who done it, who doesn’t love one of those.

 Although I still feel like I am the only human who’s yet to watch Game of Thrones. Am I missing out…


Research that Business idea

Remember that business idea you said you never had enough time to look into, or research. Well those two hours a day you just just spent watching repeats of ‘friends’ or facebook scrolling, take an hour out and read a business book, jot ideas down, make a mood board.  This is something I do once a week at the moment and want to do a lot more of.


Be Creative 

Draw, write, paint, make something, do anything you enjoy, it does wonders for the mind.  I am currently printing off all my favourite photos into a scrap book/ album. I no longer want the majority of the photos I own to be on Facebook and not in my home. Its strangely therapeutic and relaxing creating your own photo album.


Wall Art

Buy or create a print or a motivational quote that means something to you and frame it. I have put one above my sofa, seeing as that’s the place at the moment that I tend to have my many ‘I cant do it’ moments. So this was the perfect place to hang up a little motivational reminder for me.


Create a Mood Board

Go onto Pinterest and create your own mood board of anything you are interested in. Whether it’s new recipes you want to try, decor, fashion, travel.   I am moving home in a couple of months, so my mood board is made up of new decor ideas for our new place. There are so many pretty things on Pinterest and, amazing ideas to feel inspired.


Meditate

UNPLUG. Turn off phones, radio, TV, and relax.  I have been doing this every night during my physiotherapy exercises, I set the scene by lighting my favourite incense, playing calming music, (ocean or spa music is my favourite,) and I take some deep breaths. I always feel good after and now I can’t imagine not doing this as part of my evening routine. Try it, if you don’t already. Give your brain some time out. It will thank you.


And of course, carry on doing what works for you, what you enjoy to do on your lazy days off, but if like me without realising it, you had been caught up in bad habits for so long, not realising why your feeling fed up, bored or sluggish, after what was planned to be a ‘perfect lazy day in’. Then try some new things.  Now that I am aware of my bad habits, that have been hijacking my happiness. I’m making better choices on my recovery days, and taking better care of my mind.

So I’m off, to turn off my phone, put on some new pjs, light some candles, eat a giant chocolate bar, and sink into a new book.

What are you doing for your mind this weekend ? xx

 

Are you a negative Nancy or a positive Poppy today……?

Turning negatives into positives.

I remember working in the country side, It was a mild-march morning, a Tuesday and I’d arrived at work for 8am.  As I approached the long cobbled lane, I’d see a glimpse of the beautiful old building I worked in, the lushness’ of green country views and playful lambs. I felt grateful for mild march mornings, the never-ending views, working in an old historic building and the smell of flowers all around.

Week two. It was a mild March morning, a Tuesday, I arrived at work for 8 am, I drove up the same cobbled lane, I saw an old bleak building, dull flat views, I felt the cold breeze of a mild march morning, and the animals looked glum. I didn’t notice the flowers.

Same time. Same place. Same views. Different mind-set.

I’ve always been an analyser and an over thinker.  Both a curse and a blessing.  The positives that come with being an over thinker are; they tend to be creative people, problem solvers, and more thoughtful. I can relate to this, as I weigh up how others may feel a lot, I’ve also been told I’m insightful and intuitive in my work.   But the not so great side of this, is struggling with unhelpful and negative thoughts,  and over analysing the smallest of situations. I struggled with this for years.       

As a teen I would apply for a new exciting job, spend hours researching the company, shopping for the perfect interview outfit.  The night before I would become so anxious my brain would run riot with thoughts, which would usually conclude in, ‘’There was just no point in me going to that interview. ’’

Another example of over thinking,  I would see an old work friend in the street, Rather than naturally saying hello. I’d think, should I say hello? Does she even like me? Do I smile or just ignore her, encase she doesn’t smile back at me?   Over thinkers will relate.  Simple tasks, become not so simple.  I’m not sure when this changed, maybe my self esteem grew, maybe being around more positive people helped, or years of battling the negative thoughts, I finally won.

But these past couple of weeks, I’m post surgery and learning to walk again with (broken) leg and new alignment, negative thoughts have tried to creep back in.  I don’t like playing the victim or complaining like a martyr, but we all know that when you’re in a place of pain and sadness, you can become immersed in your own world.  I know life’s not all rainbows and butterflies,  I’m not Mary Poppins, the world is full of negativity and injustice, I see most of it everyday in my work.  But when my own unhealthy thought pattern, can weigh me down, both mentally and physically, and affects others round me. I know I need to do something to change my mind-set, ( before It grips tighter). 

So, I thought I’d write a list of the re-occurring negative thoughts Iv been having this week, and try and give them a spin, a better way of looking at things. First Thought;


           I can’t bear the idea of people having to care and do so many small things for me.

Try and enjoy being waited on – Your own chef, cleaner ?  That would be bliss to many people.


It is so much time off work, I’ll go stir crazy, they may replace me.  I’m going to lose my mind sitting here.  

Finally the opportunity to investigate that business idea you’ve always wanted to explore. Time to get into that new series you always complained you had no time to start. Get productive.


What if it goes wrong, what if I cant walk again, what if I’m worse off from deciding on having this operation.

Don’t meet trouble half way- Keep focusing on how far you’ve come. You’re  doing great.


I’m no where near as far as that girl, I can’t lift, I can’t bend, I cannot move, I can’t manage- I’m failing already.

Don’t compare, it is not a race, you’re doing your best. Keep going.


I can’t cope with this pain I can’t do it, it’s too hard learning to walk again, just cut this stupid leg off, I’ll never manage it.

Well you have no choice, so get on with it, pain doesn’t last forever . Don’t be ungrateful for your leg ( tough self-love)


 

You may feel a bit nuts at first writing down your own battling thoughts, but give it a go, surgery related or not.  Trying to think more positive isn’t about pretending you’re never ever in pain, or that you’re  never in a negative mood. Without the pain and the sadness, we would have nothing to compare the good times with. We need a balance.  But trying to overcome unhelpful, negative thoughts, its about giving yourself a better chance of a good day.

It feels better to now be the girl who smiled at that old friend……

than be the girl who didn’t smile back x

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How comparing will steal your joy .

Comparing yourself to others is a dangerous game, which brings you little, to no joy.  Luckily, Iv never been one to feel envy or competitiveness in everyday life.  But since my operation just 6 days ago, Iv found myself worrying profusely, where I should be, at this stage of recovery, in comparison to others.  I think it began at the hospital, when the nurse told me on day 1 ” You should be using your crutches, not me supporting your leg you know”  whilst I sat crying in pain, as it was the first time I had moved since the operation.  At this point I hadn’t even seen a physiotherapist to show me how to use crutches safely, so she was wrong,  but I still worried about the words  ”should be.”   On day 3 I felt extreme nausea from the pain and the physiotherapist said, ” You should be lifting your leg alone, as your going home today.”  And I thought should I ?!  Well I couldn’t.  On the day I was discharged  I felt wobbly and sick, which is obviously expected, Id just had my leg broken and screwed back together.   But on arriving home, using crutches, one wrong move, and I felt my leg give way from under me, I hit the pavement.  Iv never felt pain like it.  And as I laid in the street, I thought ” You should be doing better than this ”

So it hasn’t been the best of weeks, but of course no first post surgery week ever is.  But to make matters worse when I got home and recovered from the fall,  I spent most of my time looking online at others who have had this operation, ( a TTT & MPFL reconstruction) to see what stage they were at by day 5.  Yes this is great for guidance, advice and support, but the direct comparisons made me feel awful.   I had others telling me how high they could lift their leg by day 3, or how far they could bend it on day 4, when I was finding both IMPOSSIBLE to do. 

My mood dropped, I felt anxious, sad.  I had done that to myself.

When you compare your journey to someone else’s, you instantly set yourself up to feel unhappy, But I’ve woken up today with a clearer mind and with a vow to start over.   I have learnt from this. And I know learning to walk again in an alignment my leg has never been since birth, is going to be strange, painful and slow. I understand that my lack of patience and comparing,  is really just a fear that I wont get to where I want to be. Which I will.  Maybe not as soon as ‘Sue’ and her bendy leg.  But I’ll get there.

So whether you find yourself comparing your surgery recovery, your mental health recovery, that new mums waist line to yours, or just the place you are in, in life.   When you catch yourself doing this. STOP.  And tell yourself, we are all on our own journeys, at our own pace, and as long as we are trying our best to reach our own realistic goals, then that’s all we can do.


A better focus is on what you are already blessed with, and how far you have actually come.  As I mentioned last Sunday, Sundays are a great time to re-energise, reflect and re focus.  Looking at both what you have achieved, and that you are grateful for, no matter how bad the week has been, (just look a little harder.)   This week for me, I

Achieved;

Going through with an operation that I have put off since the age of 17.

I managed to walk to the bathroom on crutches (no brace) on day 2, which on day 1, I never thought I would do.

I managed to bounce back from a nasty fall quite quickly.

I haven’t cried today (so far)


Grateful for;

My boyfriend –  So far he’s been my rock, carer, chef, cleaner and my best friend.

My friends and family – For the cards, support and little pick me ups. I am aware of what a privilege this is.

The kindness of strangers – When I fell in the street, two strangers helped my boyfriend carry me to my sofa, they couldn’t bend my leg and I was making no sense, so it was very slow and they were so patient and kind.

Peppermint tea and ginger biscuits – Try these for nausea. God send.

My kitten –  Despite trying to jump near my leg, the one place she shouldn’t, she means well, and her little morning purrs have made me smile.


So give it a go yourself,  put pen to paper, and if you to, have been comparing your journey to others, then start over today.  Remember a flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. 

It just blooms. x